don't panic!: life's missing manual by hart christopher

Author:hart, christopher [hart, christopher]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: chris hart
Published: 2015-06-24T16:00:00+00:00

fantasies

A ll fantasies – day dreams if you like – are fun. Because you get to choose what happens. Which is one reason why we enjoy romantic and sexual fantasies so much. Your lover does exactly what you want, and never mistreats you – unless of course that’s what you want!

You get to choose your partner. Perhaps a celebrity. Maybe the girl next door. Or your best friend’s boyfriend. You choose where. A fabulous hotel. Under the stars. And what you do together. From shy smiles to anything goes. There are no limits in a fantasy!

And somehow we always think our own are unique. They’re not – but we rarely find out because people don’t talk about them. We tell each other about almost everything else. How we’re doing at work. All our family problems. Our latest conquest. Who we secretly fancy. But even the closest of friends rarely share their sexual fantasies. They’re much too revealing! And we’re sort of ashamed of them. Because most of us think it’s only unhappy people who have fantasies. That they make up for a boring sex life.

But actually it’s exactly the opposite! It’s the people who fantasise most who have the most fun in bed. They have more sex, are more adventurous, and have more partners. Fantasies and an exciting sex life go together. And nearly everyone has them, from adolescence onward. Only about five percent of men and women say they’ve never had a sexual fantasy – and maybe even they just won’t admit it! Youngsters – especially boys – start sometime after the age of twelve, but they’re most common among young adults. They probably think about something to do with sex or romance several times a day! After that fantasies slowly decline with age.

But other than that there are no hard and fast rules. Deeply traditional and religious people have just as many sexual fantasies as everyone else, for example. Despite many of them feeling that they shouldn’t. Actually, lots of us feel guilty about our fantasies. Especially the ones we have while making love. But the truth is that almost all of us fantasise during sex – at least some of the time. I once heard them beautifully described as ‘love makin’ scenery’ – which is just what they are. They enhance the experience – and get us out of our everyday lives for a few moments.

Some people feel guilty because they go against their political beliefs. So a big boss might be perfectly happy with a submissive fantasy, because it’s a relief from having to be in control. But many feminists feel uncomfortable at finding submissive scenarios arousing – as most women do. They feel they’re incompatible with their ideals. They shouldn’t worry. Because their fantasies are no different from anyone else’s. And deeply embedded in what makes us male or female. It’s no wonder ‘50 Shades of Grey’ was so popular!

What triggers our fantasies – and their themes – is not well understood. But personal experience and the stuff we hear, see and read has something to do with it.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.